“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops.
And that's true.
What they don't tell you is that once time starts again...
...it moves extra fast to catch up.”
(Edward Bloom – Big Fish)
I’ve been meaning to post an update on what’s been going on but life happens when you’re making plans.
So last Friday I went to a house party thrown by one of the recruits from the police academy with Russ. It was a laidback gathering of some of the guys in Russ’ class and their wives/girl friends, there was a feeling of camaraderie among the men and a sort of support system between the women that I enjoyed being a part of. Anyone who knows my history with the female sex knows that I am not always accepted (nor do I usually enjoy being) amongst other women. But I was automatically acknowledged as one of them without feeling like I was being tested, all I had to do was to be myself and I was already included. Surprisingly enough though I loved that feeling...
After the party, Russ and I went to see Tropic Thunder and just about died laughing, and then he dropped me off at our friends Mark and Victoria’s house so I could spend the night before we went shooting early the next morning. I didn’t get to Mark and Victoria’s until around 11:30 or so but Laura, Victoria and I ended up staying up until 2:00am talking about our lives, looking at high school year books and old pictures. There’s a bit of irony in the fact that Victoria married Mark and I’m dating Russ considering Victoria and I have been friends since we met back in ’04 and Russ and Mark have been friends since high school, so what are the odds that we’d all make a nice family circle? Anyway after talking to Victoria I couldn’t help but feel that same sense of belonging that I did earlier at the house party, it makes me wonder about a couple of things…
So continuing on with my story, even though we went to bed around 2am Victoria and I still woke up with barely enough time to get ready for Russ to pick us up at 7am. We loaded up an old A/C unit and pump to use as target practice and headed over to Allan’s house where everyone else had already gathered. Of course Victoria and I were the only two girls in our group, which I was glad she came because it originally would’ve been just me (again). Below are some pictures of us out in the desert, we ended up getting done around 9:30am because of the heat. (SIDE NOTE I RAN OUT OF TIME, SO I’LL POST PICS LATER)
Then Russ dropped me off at home, I fell asleep watching a movie and didn’t get up until close to 3pm. I got showered and dressed for Britni and David’s reception and was ready just in time for Russ to pick me up.
When a certain ex-boyfriend came up to our table to talk to a friend, you could tell he wasn’t too pleased to see me there. Russ originally thought the guy was cool until he saw first hand the way he treated me, so now Russ feels the same way about the guy as Allan and the rest of my friends do. Anyway about an hour and a half later we left the reception to go eat dinner at the Melting Pot, barely making it in time to keep our reservation. When we were through with dinner and walking back to the truck, Russ reached out for my hand to help me up the parking divider and continued to hold my hand even though I no longer needed his “help”. The gesture took me by surprise at first but walking while holding hands with him felt so natural that the feeling of awkwardness literally lasted the length of one heart skip before it disappeared for me. Because it was only around 10pm when we got with dinner we ended up driving around town until finally we parked at a construction site over looking the valley. We just sat in his truck talking and watching the lightening that sporadically shot through the sky.
As much as I joke about my life being a real life fairytale, I’m glad that the magic of an evening does not fade with the stroke of midnight for my tale. Because when I looked at the clock illuminated on the face of the truck stereo and saw that it was going to be 1am the “magic” was just about to begin instead of end. Regretfully I said that I needed to get home and what happened next took me so much by surprise that it literally knocked the breath out of me. However with the quick rush of air from my lungs came a sudden clarity of everything that happened between me and Russ over the course of our relationship. People say that before you die your life flashes before your eyes but speaking from personal experience I’d say that this is not true. Instead when you believe that you are living your last moment on earth, that flash of time becomes the clearest and most distinct memory of your life. Time seems to literally slow to a near stand still and every detail of that moment becomes crisp and sharp, as though you’re seeing the world for the first time for what it really is. It makes you happy to gain that new view on life, but sad that it happened so late.
I’ve been meaning to post an update on what’s been going on but life happens when you’re making plans.
So last Friday I went to a house party thrown by one of the recruits from the police academy with Russ. It was a laidback gathering of some of the guys in Russ’ class and their wives/girl friends, there was a feeling of camaraderie among the men and a sort of support system between the women that I enjoyed being a part of. Anyone who knows my history with the female sex knows that I am not always accepted (nor do I usually enjoy being) amongst other women. But I was automatically acknowledged as one of them without feeling like I was being tested, all I had to do was to be myself and I was already included. Surprisingly enough though I loved that feeling...
After the party, Russ and I went to see Tropic Thunder and just about died laughing, and then he dropped me off at our friends Mark and Victoria’s house so I could spend the night before we went shooting early the next morning. I didn’t get to Mark and Victoria’s until around 11:30 or so but Laura, Victoria and I ended up staying up until 2:00am talking about our lives, looking at high school year books and old pictures. There’s a bit of irony in the fact that Victoria married Mark and I’m dating Russ considering Victoria and I have been friends since we met back in ’04 and Russ and Mark have been friends since high school, so what are the odds that we’d all make a nice family circle? Anyway after talking to Victoria I couldn’t help but feel that same sense of belonging that I did earlier at the house party, it makes me wonder about a couple of things…
So continuing on with my story, even though we went to bed around 2am Victoria and I still woke up with barely enough time to get ready for Russ to pick us up at 7am. We loaded up an old A/C unit and pump to use as target practice and headed over to Allan’s house where everyone else had already gathered. Of course Victoria and I were the only two girls in our group, which I was glad she came because it originally would’ve been just me (again). Below are some pictures of us out in the desert, we ended up getting done around 9:30am because of the heat. (SIDE NOTE I RAN OUT OF TIME, SO I’LL POST PICS LATER)
Then Russ dropped me off at home, I fell asleep watching a movie and didn’t get up until close to 3pm. I got showered and dressed for Britni and David’s reception and was ready just in time for Russ to pick me up.
When a certain ex-boyfriend came up to our table to talk to a friend, you could tell he wasn’t too pleased to see me there. Russ originally thought the guy was cool until he saw first hand the way he treated me, so now Russ feels the same way about the guy as Allan and the rest of my friends do. Anyway about an hour and a half later we left the reception to go eat dinner at the Melting Pot, barely making it in time to keep our reservation. When we were through with dinner and walking back to the truck, Russ reached out for my hand to help me up the parking divider and continued to hold my hand even though I no longer needed his “help”. The gesture took me by surprise at first but walking while holding hands with him felt so natural that the feeling of awkwardness literally lasted the length of one heart skip before it disappeared for me. Because it was only around 10pm when we got with dinner we ended up driving around town until finally we parked at a construction site over looking the valley. We just sat in his truck talking and watching the lightening that sporadically shot through the sky.
As much as I joke about my life being a real life fairytale, I’m glad that the magic of an evening does not fade with the stroke of midnight for my tale. Because when I looked at the clock illuminated on the face of the truck stereo and saw that it was going to be 1am the “magic” was just about to begin instead of end. Regretfully I said that I needed to get home and what happened next took me so much by surprise that it literally knocked the breath out of me. However with the quick rush of air from my lungs came a sudden clarity of everything that happened between me and Russ over the course of our relationship. People say that before you die your life flashes before your eyes but speaking from personal experience I’d say that this is not true. Instead when you believe that you are living your last moment on earth, that flash of time becomes the clearest and most distinct memory of your life. Time seems to literally slow to a near stand still and every detail of that moment becomes crisp and sharp, as though you’re seeing the world for the first time for what it really is. It makes you happy to gain that new view on life, but sad that it happened so late.
I described the feeling you get from a near death experience because I need you to try and understand how I felt when Russ asked if he could kiss me before taking me home. The world stopped and resumed its rotation when I answered yes, I’ve thought about that moment so many times before but my imaginations have never done it justice. Because Russ and I had never kissed or shown each other signs of affection other than a casual hug before then, I thought that when the time came for our first kiss it would be slightly awkward. I am happy to say that I was wrong and everything that followed thereafter was as natural and elemental as any other course of nature. How fitting that our first kiss took place during a summer lightening storm…
For once in my life I feel peace with the relationship I’m in, there’s no guessing what the other person is thinking, no hesitation to reach for someone’s hand or feeling of desperation and fear of loss when sharing a kiss. Because our entire courtship has depended on patience, I feel like there is no rush towards anything in particular other than appreciating every second we spend together.
All I can say is I’m glad that we (finally) made it to this point, it just proves that the best things in life are worth the wait.
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1 comments:
Ahhhh!!! Congrats! I'm so happy for you!
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